TWIC - Club Champs to Club Chumps

To all those who thought the Coves might have been building up to something big this year - how silly do you feel now?  1s to 4s were firmly put in their place by a strong Burwood outfit while the U24s battled hard with only 10 men but came away with nothing against Mac Uni.  5s flew the flag for the Coves with a magnificently contested washout at Acron; congratulations to all on the result.  Though we're now sitting a more sedate 4th in the Club Championship table, I feel we can still drop down the ladder further before Christmas and save ourselves the should I / shouldn't I book holidays for April conundrum that we don't usually have to deal with anyway.  The optomists among you might point out that we're generally rubbish in the first half of the season and we always get destroyed by Burwood and we'll come home strong in the second half of the year, but I believe those of that pesky inclination are idiots who need to wake up and count the number of opposable thumbs in the dressing sheds at Lane Cove games.  I guarantee you the average is not two per customer.

1st Grade:   Lane Cove 54  def by  Burwood 3/55

Are we as good as we thought we were?

2nd Grade:   Lane Cove 173  def by  Burwood 3/175

The day started as it ended, with us losing the toss and asked to bat first on a flat (insert A Dodds Rothwell is such a road, they should charge a toll! rant) Rothwell deck.  From that moment on our luck didn’t really change starting with a run out and an interesting decision ending mine and Dohers' day at the crease prematurely.  Our middle order then proceeded to maintain expectations and before we knew it we were 6/64 despite a mixture of average bowling, poor fielding and yet again no luck!
Enter the lower order.
Davo and Benny set about building a target to bowl at. Davo was unlucky, with the drinks break disrupting his concentration, he proceeded to hit a slashing drive to deep cover 4 times in the same over – the last of which was in the air. A lesson in persistence for all. Benny was then joined in the middle by Joey. Both set about getting us a total that might start to worry the Briars. Again, luck was having no part of it today with Benny being run out from a relay throw to the non danger end. This left Joey to blast away with Bezer (no, not a typo, may also warrant selection as a batsmen in 1’s this round) with Bez getting 15 and Joe 37 not.
With 175 ( I think, no one could confirm the actual correct score as the books didn’t add up. Fish!!) on the board - we had to start well! That unfortunately didn’t go quite to plan with the openers putting on 33 before Bez made a break through. A 50 run stand then followed and another 90 run partnership made it tough.  With further limited luck and no real chances created we battled to the end but the Briars were too strong on the day chasing the total down with plenty of time, overs and flat track bullies in the sheds.
Players' Player
Joe 3 –  Valuable Runs
Benny 2 – runs and bowled without yep – luck!
Davo 1 – Man of action not words...

3rd Grade:   Lane Cove 148  def by  Burwood 4/151

Reminiscent of that scene from Ghostbusters with the freaky red-eyed gymnastics chick, if you're offered the chance to bowl first at Longy, you say YES.  The Skip won the toss and went the other way, with the deck looking particularly flat with short grass coverage.  The Skip then had a very good view of the ball doing all sorts from the umpires spot and managed to not give out a particularly plumb LBW 2nd ball due to a combination of suprisingly large sideways movement and very predictable lack of competence.  Despite this Briars didn't take long to get rolling, taking wickets regularly with a rather bemused (and fortunate) Super Coach looking on from the other end.  Standing joined T Snack at 5/68 and the two put on nearly 50 before T Mac went for a gutsy 56 from 73 pills.  Sadly, there wasn't much fight in the Coves as we lost 4/11 including the Higlet brutally running out James Clarke, causing an enormous eruption that would have seen him institutionalised had it taken place anywhere else in Lane Cove that day.  To be fair, Boggle has now had three digs in 3s and been run out 3 times by his partners... Tran, Lloyd and now L.Higgins.  What an unholy trinity!  Slade and Skipper added a few for the last wicket, and despite the Skip doing his best to get out every delivery it was actually the solid Slade who was dismissed, leaving the Coves a pretty ordinary 148 to defend on what was becoming a rather sedate wicket.

Fears were confirmed as the bowlers found it difficult to get anything out of the deck, even with the new rock.  Boggle and later McDonald hooped the ball around nicely, but the seam and bounce of earlier in the day was pretty much gone.  The Burwood bats looked pretty comfortable for the most part, although Boggle, Jack, T Mac and Slade beat the bat more than a few times.  We also bowled our fair share of trash, and with a few dropped chances we were never really in the hunt, and Burwood passed our score in the 30th over to time their run for the bonus point perfectly.  Tommy Mac (3/32 from 10) was the best of the bowlers with Boggle (1/38) the other wicket taker.

Fair play to Burwood who were the better team from ball 1.  We've now lost two on the trot and have seen how much we need to lift our game if we want to make finals.  I don't, so feel free to lift your game in 2s or 4s if thats to your liking.


Players' Player
3 - Tommy Mac
2 - Ummmm
1 - What?

4th Grade:   Lane Cove 183  def by  Burwood 5/217

Change of scenery this week.  No Mantarro. No ranting.  No expensive European car. No mention of the effect of limestone when mixed with concrete and human flesh.  Yes, the duck wagon was my chosen choice of transportation this week – to play leafy burwood at St Luke’s Oval.
Very limited warm up, the boys were confronted with a very flat track and a very big outfield.  Skipper Demps lost the toss and we were bowling.  Things started pretty well with Dodds picking up a caught behind early doors.  Plenty of playing and missing early with Sargent being particularly impressive and beating the bat.  Fielded poorly, had them 5/117 and they got away from us plain and simple to post a very competitive 217.  50 more than they should have got, but drop catches, bowl wides, and have luck go against you and that is going to happen.  Special efforts in the field from Ducky and Frankish created some pressure. Dodds dropped two, both of which were regulation and should become particularly comfortable with the contact details of Steve Campbell, and playing cricket with a substantial hangover on a Sunday as a result of extravagant oaks hotel consumption.
Dodds and Schaafsma opened the batting on what must be said was a beautiful surface to bat on.  Briars had a few good young quicks but we managed to get through them to be 0/70 and well on target to chase down the runs.  What followed was the entire top order (bar Rafe who batted sensibly) be dismissed by poor shot selection and concentration.
All out 183.
No 6 points
Not very good.  Plenty to reflect on this week as a team and a club
Just a glitch though, not unfixable though...


Players' Player
3. Rafe Aman
2. Alex Dodds
1. Mark Schaafsma

5th Grade:   Sky Muppets  drew  Lindfield Gold

Sky Muppets take on Lindfield Gold
Round 10 of Muppy Cuppy Goodness

Hello Muppet lovers, hope you are all well. You should be all nicely relaxed after your Sunday rest day from the Saturday shenanigans agains Furwood. I won’t go into it too much, but suffice to say that the Sky Muppets were the only senior side who didn’t capitulate and lose our match on the weekend. The fact we only got in 8 overs before the weather ruined the pitch is inconsequential. Completely irrelevant. However, we were around long enough to hear the Great Punjabi regale his ‘Long Indian Kransky’ story and show us how, at 12:25pm, he was receiving text messages from a supposed female wishing he was in bed with her naked. Utterly disgusting chain of events that had even the worst of our assembled degenerates praying for rain.....
Be that as it may, I notice that Xavier Tras comfortably top scored in first grade, 2nd top scored in second grade, 2nd top scored in third grade and 2nd top scored in 4th grade!!! Good day out for Xavier. Can we select him in 5th grade? So not a good day for Lance, not at all. Our old sparring partners in Furwood will be chortling in their cup-a-soups. Not even Care-Flight could save us this weekend.........BTW – anyone notice Blommy signalling a six to the scorers after the aircraft landed, Pirenu dismissed via Care Flight #4 and Club Dub strolling out to discipline the pilot for landing his flying stallion on Trent’s finest blade of grass? During this whole debacle it must be said that Porky not once stood down from his self appointed duties of manning the Dagwood Burner and consuming his umpteenth Carlton.

Quality end to an average weekend of cricket.
Damian ‘Battler’ Naughton
Wishing I was at 24’s on Sunday

U24s:   Lane Cove 8/143  def by  Mac Uni 6/144 

A sunny day greeted us when we arrived at Tantallon early Sunday morning, many feeling a little worse for wear. After losing the toss, we were sent in to bat and ended up with a defendable 8/143 off 42. Rixon 17 was looking better than previous innings until he lost his head with a Phil Hughes-esque drive to point. Standing (17) also chipped in a good partnership with Dindayal (21), but it was Scarcella who provided the sidelines with some banterous entertainment with his quality dingers and ended up with 36. His innings was all the more impressive due to the 4 play interruptions throughout the innings due to rain and once due to a rescue response helicopter casually landing on the field. 5 of the boys basically skipping over to the helicopter in order to get photos and videos to post them on their facebook pages. Watch Scrivenhands change his profile picture to him in front of the helicopter. This schoolgirl like behaviour lead to all sorts of banter and heckling from the peanut gallery.

Once a few snags and tuna sandwiches were had, we went out and commenced bowling. The first batsman proved to be in a similar league to Chris Martin. This peasant batting display lead to the most amazing array of [coffee and biscuits] ever seen, amusing the umpires to some degree. Whilst some of us came up with some classic one liners, such as “They obviously don’t teach communication at Mac Uni”, Joe Scarcella decides to follow through his bowling to the end of the pitch and just say, “You’re so [not particularly good]!”, leading to a huge, “GOT HIM YES!” from ol mate Ricco Jnr at cover.


We got off to a great start having them 4-45 thanks to a great open bowling partnership of Scarcella and Standing with some steaaaaaming deliveries. However, with 3 younguns in the cordon, all they seemed to be able to talk about was Friday night’s Eminem concert and how they saw Todd Carney. Cool beans man, now lets hear a bit of banter hey.


Unfortunately after drinks, we got a little bit quieter and let two new batsmen Hesa Hasbeen and Heene Everwas, who were playing and missing all over the show, get their eye in and put on 80 for the 5th wicket and the damage was done. Cudos go out to Scarcella and Standing for great opening spells and Slick Rick for his smart arse ‘mankad’ warning to the non-striker.. oh and his ridiculous RTB’s, rip turn bounce at right angles. Coxy also proved dangerous both with ball and in the field making his big red presence known with 2 catches and chasing balls down all over the show.


Overall, the boys put in a good effort to not get bowled out after 24 overs like last match. Through starting off well, it is a little disappointing to have let them back into the game though it is difficult with 10 players on the field. A lot of positives to take from it to smash the Southern Districts chaps next week.


Players' Player

3 – Scarcella

2 – Standing

1 – Rixon

Sorry, had to edit that one a bit.  Family ratings.

Fantasy League - Wes Harpham, Damian Naughton, Gerald Cornelius and Tom Holt still lead all comers, which makes one wonder if the boys in 1s haven't got a pool going on F League.  Not many omitted R.Gallichan from their side, and all those who selected D.Naughton in their side weren't expecting him to be so unashamedly useless for the first half of the season.  I hope you choke on all that money, ladies.

I might update the rest of the Neddy later.  Much later.