Go Green Men...

Before we get on to the cricket from the weekend, congratulations to Chris "Stipey" Granger on rendering his lovely wife Kate enceinte.  No word yet on gender or thread count but I'm assured we can look forward to at least one Stipey Jnr phantoming from all the popular social venues in years to come.  Pending naming of the firstborn, I'd like to get in early with The Ghost Who Crawls until something more suitable is devised...


Had a brief word to a few of the Warringah boys at Tantallon on Saturday and they were rather surprised to hear themselves referred to as Blacktown by the Sea.  Justin Sharp would be rolling around in his grave / sty / piles and piles of money in Asia to hear that after pioneering the phrase for so long.  Anyway, despite the cunning distraction, it didn't stop the Green Men from pounding our 2s, while Warringah 3s had an even easier time of it at Weldon #3.  1s and 4s flew the Covie flag to ensure it was almost honours even... the bonus points picked up in 3s and 4s meant that Warringah compiled 68 Club Championship points to our 67 - clear victory to the Green Men, so Brett Richardson has to give Roy Formica a foot massage or something along those lines at the Cricket NSW office tomorrow.  Cute.

The Sky Muppets took on the new Gorgeous River Sharks on Sunday and also came away with a win thanks to a spectacular all-round performance from stand-in skipper and full-time champion Geof Sundstrom.  Richie Galliwho?  Sadly this near flawless display of cricketing magnificence was lost in the confusion surrounding Pushkar's unveiling of his new female companion.  What what??

1st Grade:  Lane Cove 5/138 def. Warringah 137

We lost the toss on what looked like a very good batting strip and we were asked to have a bowl.

It ended up being a very good toss to lose as there was certainly some seam and swing movement early on.  Sneaky was at his miserly best and was well backed up in the field when the Skipper took an absolute screamer at mid-off (probably the catch of the decade) as the half volley was rocketing to the fence.  Stall then trapped their number 3 in front and with his confidence soaring dug in a frightening bouncer which took the Warringah captain by surprise and he could only manage to top edge the ball straight to Gall Senior at square leg... a truly sickening dismissal!

After a very accurate spell from the Skipper he introduced Holty into the attack who was back in 1s for the first time in a few years.  Steady Eddie had the ball singing nicely and moving around in both directions and soon had his name in the wicket column picking up 2 leg before decisions.  At the other end Richie bowled a very tidy 10 over spell... he finished with figures of 1 for 12 and got through his overs nice and quickly to really keep the pressure on the Green Men.

Crazy Joe and Corny then picked up a few wickets between them and we had Warringah at 9 for 94 until some very sensible batting from their 10 and 11 helped their score to 137 before Arse Holt finished the innings off knocking over their number 10 for a well made 26.

Smith and Fish opened up and Fish got bowled for 2 with one that kept a bit low.  Smitty was seeing the ball very well and made a quick-fire 27 from 20 including a towering straight 6 before getting trapped plumb in front.

After Richie went cheaply we were 3 for 46 when Corny joined Gall Junior at the crease and the pair got their heads down nicely and chipped away at the target.  They took the score to 88 before Corny edged one to slip for a handy 28 including a square cut for 6 that easily cleared the fence!

We stumbled again slightly when Pete nicked their spinner for 19 to have us at 5 for 105 however Jacko was looking very positive and made short work of the required runs hitting a very important 28 not out to steer us to victory accompanied by CJC on 14 not.

So a very good performance to get us back in the winner's circle.


3 - Shneak
1 - Holty
1 - Corny
1 - Jacko

2nd Grade:  Lane Cove 130 def. by Warringah 8/134

Second Grade Report - Back to Standard Before Christmas Boobishness

Two's turned up to the home of cricket to take on the Green Men and hopefully regain some momentum after going down to the Briars at the burgatorium last week.  Warm up not nearly as good as the week before, blokes turned up late and weren't all that
switched on really.  Supercoach was agitated, and with some justification really.

Allegedly the plan was to bowl if we won the toss (thinking if there was ever going to be anything in it, it would be early doors), however Skipper Bez pulled a cagey
Switcharoo and decided we would have a bat and try and set a target.  Mantarro and Scrivens headed out to the middle and did a pretty good job negotiating the first ten overs or so when the ball was doing plenty.  Sammy was first to go, unbelievably not run out by Scrivens. T Mac looked pretty good but wickets fell pretty steadily due to softness with only Stoney offering any meaningful resistance.  Dodds and Stone ground away to get us back in a reasonable position of 5/110 however for the second game in a row our lower order went down quicker than a sack of spuds to be bundled out for a substandard 130.

After a somewhat embarrassing
faux pas, the plan was to bowl tight and to try and grind out a few early wickets and hang in there.  Things did not exactly go to plan and with the Green Men riding their luck.  At 2/77 a few of us were thinking a comprehensive hiding and early beers but an excellent spell of Farmer's (with Robbo doing a job late in the spell) got us single-handedly back in the contest.

Bottom Line - Warringah fell in 8 down, however if we had of concentrated for longer periods the result may have been different.  The boys did not have the best of conditions but hung in pretty well - must get things back on track versus the Ants this week.

Has talked enough about his slips catch

3 - Farmer
2 - Stoney
1 - Can't remember

3rd Grade:  Lane Cove 84 def. by Warringah 2/86 with a bonus point

Rocked up to a construction site that we thought was our field and after a hike that the Diggers of Kokoda would raise an eyebrow to we finally found the field.  Pitch looked like a road so after winning the toss had little hesitation in batting, mistake on my part.  Turned out not to be the road we thought it to be and coupled with great bowling and fielding by the Green Men we were skittled for an underwhelming 80 odd.  Little resistance shown by anyone and the riot act will be relayed to the top order, myself included, prior to our bat next week.  I'm not allowed to say that we got some absolutely stinking decisions and that the umpiring was horrible so I won't.

Trying to defend 80 is a pretty tall order and a Green Man came out to bat with intent and blasted 58 and that was that.  Louie bowled well to grab our only two wickets as did Trumbull for his first game of the season.  Much improvement required for next week against SD's because if we play like that again I'd hate to think of the consequences.


3 - Louie Louie
2 - Wes (lack of choice)
1 - Byrne (lack of choice)

4th Grade:  Lane Cove 4/92 def. Warringah 91 with a bonus point

Sadly it looks like my computer ate up Demps' report.

3 - Limpy - outstanding effort.  5 wickets and destroyed Warringah with pace and accuracy.
1 - Matt Burke - 5 catches and 1 run out in a great Shires debut for the club.
1 - Joe Molloy - 2 wickets in an excellent support role to Limpy.
1 - Crossy - 41* guided us home with a great knock.

5th Grade:  Sky Muppets 5/107 def. Georges River Sharks 103 with a bonus point

LCCC Muppy Cupsters

Georges River Sharks

Well - we are Lane Cove and we are nice blokes.  So were the Sharks, but its a scarier and more humorous image.  Can't wait to play the Sting Rays though.  That being said, its still not quite as scary as Push-a-car arriving at the ground with a lady friend in tow.  Nice work Pushy.

On to matters croquet.  Fat Schkiip Nevilicious was out this round due to an injury he sustained whilst bowling extreme pace against Burwood the previous week.  Apparently a schnitzel got in the way and he got hungry.  Oh well.  I was pretty proud to fill the void - even though my girth is far more substantial than the regular schkip's I carry it with greater aplomb.  For the toss - I continued Nev's fine form of losing everything and proceeded to keep the tossing record safe - 0/5.  However, in a move that had more cage than cage, we were asked to have a bowl??? At Tantallon???

Steve Flynn (yes you heard right) and Nick Sharples opened up and kept things reasonably tight while I patrolled the savannah's behind the wicket and pounced on the scraps the batsmen wouldn't or couldn't play.  A wicket to Flynny early doors had the tourists at 1/50 odd after 20.  I swiftly exchanged clothing with Flynny after he completed his 9 overs (1/22), leaving the keeping clean sheet (0 byes) in Flynny's presumably safe hands.  I then bought myself into the attack and unleashed my TCCC bowling average of 4.11 on the little buggers.  Nev was trying to update Richo with the score from the sidelines - but due to my lethal attack, Poor Nev was sending more text messages than an engorged Warney.

Richo:  "Nev - score update"
Nev:  "1/50.  Sunners and Pottsy bowling"
Richo:  "Should be interesting.  Keep me posted"
Nev:  "2/50.  Sunners and ripper catch to Webby"
Nev:  "3/50. Sunners.  Gee this is happening quickly"
Nev:  "4/50.  Sunners.  This is sickening.  I'm getting a bit tired of this"
Nev:  "5/51.  Sunners.  I'm going home."
Richo:  "Crap.  We'll never hear the end of the fat schnitz taking another 4 TCCC poles...... over and out"

Incidentally, thats 50 wickets for the Club chalked up at a respectable average of 16.  S-U-P-E-R-S-T-A-R...

Ended up rolling the Sharkes for 103 with Marty picking up 3, Sudsy 1, a run-out to Webby (plus 3 catches) and Flynny.  Oh, and my 4 poles.  For 18 runs.  From 9 overs.  What a contribution.  i should rename this to be "This Week in Sundstrom Land" or "This Week in Geof Land".  Anyway, I retired to scoring after that effort.  Sadly it was then I noticed that Steve Flynn had blotted the copy book with 2 byes - out, out of the keepers' union for you, Stephen Flynn.  

With the schtick - Booby and fresh meat Anthony Graser got us off to a flyer - 0/48 until a lack of local knowledge scuppered Anthony's tilt on a maiden Covie 50.  LBW when pulling and the ball keeping low - standard trap for young players at Tanty.  Booboir put on 25, lost a few wickets in the middle - then Pushy and Pottsy got us home pretty easily for a single BP win, despite Pottsy waving to the stands trying to retire himself hurt.  No Pottsy, keep batting.

Got a few wins under the belt now lads and should be 3rd on the ladder.  Playing the Sting Rays this week where a certain batsman burgled 14 runs last week to win the game.  Lets make sure that it doesn't happen again.........

Final point: the selectors asked me to cover off in TWISL (This Week in Sunners Land you shkinny lurvers) - there are reports doing the email rounds that a certain 2nd Grade pest MAY have taken a catch in the cordon on the weekend.  Well - Myers, Gub, Nev and myself can all confirm that NO catches were taken in the cordon Saturday the 30th of October 2010 at Tantallon.  None whatsoever.

Fat Blurt

3 - Me.  I thought I did well to only give myself 3.
1 - Marty
1 - Booby
1 - Anthony

Points Beers - After stealing the Club's points beers last Saturday night at the Diddy, Brett Richardson has kindly offered recompense in the form of a free shout at the club this Saturday night.  At first I thought it was pretty poor form from our Club and 1st Grade Captain to steal 5 jugs of beers and claim them for a selection meeting where there were only 4 people present (one of whom wasn't drinking and two more of which are dripping colostomy bags, and Porky wasn't even at the table) at the time, but I imagine he probably had this sweetener in mind as he carried out his little stunt.  To collect your free drink, all you need to remember is this easy password:  "Hi Brett - where is my beer you f***i** thieving **n*?"  Enjoy.

Selection Beers - There is no such thing, Brett.  Its not in the Diddy contract.  Put this one in the same bracket as Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

U24s - The Frank Gray kiddies have their first game of the season this Sunday against Pennant Hills at Tantallon.  Come down and watch them chalk up their first win of the season (decade) and show a bit of support for our annoying young prima donnas.  

Movember - still not that many people signed up so far.  Come on boys and girls, put in for the cause... click on the link and register now prease.

Ashes Lunch - tickets on sale now.  Invest in this great opportunity to experience how Brett Richardson and Cameron Bezer live life with first beers at 10:30 am.

NSW v Tasmania - The Speed Blitz Blues take on the Apple Island folk in a one-day match on Sunday December 12 at North Sydney Oval.  Coves have been a bit of a fixture at this event in previous years, taking up much room on the hill and leaving behind great aluminium idols to their gods.  If you would like a ticket or tickets to this event, contact Burt Dickardson at Brett.Richardson@cricketnsw.com.au and he will deliver them unto you.  

Fantasy League - T Mac is starting to strangle the competition now with what is admittedly quite a strong team.  CJC and the Hig are in pursuit but the gap is widening...

Individual Stuff - Champagne Moments, Milestones, Duck Bat... haven't done them yet.  Will do so some day soon.

Training - More bad weather it seems, so keep an eye on the Nedsite yet again on Wednesday.

Clothing - We expect the new clothing stock to be arriving some time next week.  We should be able to distribute it to everyone before the start of round 6... fingers crossed no hitches with delivery, of course.

Selections - We're playing Southern Districts in round 5.  I pity those of you in 2s and 4s having to make your way out to Broken Hill for the game, but I reserve the right to take that back depending on the number of degenerates selected in those sides.

Loves a good Duck Bat