Name: Benjamin Ashley Edward Preece
Nicknames: Ben, Preecey, Uncle Festa, Stone Cold Steve Austin
Sex: Alpha male
Previous clubs: I’m on f*****g Wikipedia look it up. What the f*** have you done?
Bowling type: Moves it both ways
Ashes prediction: Joe Root to score 500+ runs. England win 3-2.
Jarrod Rixon: G’day Preecey thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule.
Ben Preece: Cheers Ricko who can I pay to get me a beer?
JR: Ahh Preecey its 10 o’clock on a Tuesday morning.
BP: Did I ask you what the f*****g time was?
JR: …Moving on… we’ve come to the end of pre-season with round 1 just a few days away, how do you think the Covies are poised for the season?
BP: Yeah really well. Joey is bowling really well in the nets and I saw him hit a lovely cover drive the other week. Looks good under the high ball as well so I think it will be a really good season for us. He just has the world at his feet doesn’t he? Should take 50 poles in first grade this year.
JR: What about the rest of the players at club? Would you care to talk about anyone else?
BP: Yeah they look good too.
JR: So this is your 3rd season with us as head coach, how do you think we have progressed since you started?
BP: When I came to the club it was a shambles. It just lacked leadership. Damian was trying his best but as amazing as that man is you just can’t do it all on your own can you? So I put my hand up because I have so much experience and am a great leader myself and I just want to give back to the game that has done so much for me. It’s probably taken a bit longer than I originally thought to get the club back in line, but coming into my third season here I think I’ve really been able to get through to some of the blokes and change their whole lives really not just their cricket. Someone like Charlie Hipkin was very difficult to coach originally but now we get on really well and I consider him one of my best mates at the club. Kiran Dindayal is another example, probably the most talented player at the club, I’ve just got to get in there and mentor him a bit.
JR: In your opinion, what is the best thing about the club?
BP: That’s easy Ricko, without doubt the Diddy. It’s even better than watching Naughto smash one through the covers then picking up a quick single the next ball. The best watering hole on the North Shore that place haha.. yeah nah… There’s nothing better than coming back on a Saturday arvo and seeing over 30 covies around tables downing beers. Why Kiran Dindayal has never been there is an absolute travesty. Someone needs to have a good chat to that bloke about his priorities.
*Bloke from the Diddy comes up to Preecey and hands him $50*: This week’s payment Ben.
BP: Thanks mate.
JR: What was that about?
JR: Alrighty then, any advice for the kids coming through the ranks?
BP: Yeah check yourself into the Diddy, that’s where you’ll make a name for yourself. Get around Naughto, he’s such a class act that man, really knows his stuff.
JR: Speaking of the Diddy, I’ve been hearing a lot around these parts about the “Ben Preece Hot Zone”. Could you tell us a bit about that?
BP: Haha.. I’m not surprised, I’m a bit of a legend of the Diddy now a days. Even when I’m not there, the locals bring out the “Did he die did he?” haha.. classic. It seems like the strangest thing, between beers 3 and 5, everyone’s having a laugh and the next thing, I’m at home in the shower chanting “Oh when RP thinks he’s Kohli…”
JR: … Right. Well I’m sure there’s a fascinating back story there, I’ll get it out of you at the Diddy post round 1!
BP: Haha, absolutely Ricko, I’ll talk cricket and taking poles with anyone, as long as its at the Diddy.
JR: Sounds good mate, see you then!