TWIC - Does Anyone Want This Job?

While the big news for you folk may be that we won all Grades on the weekend for the first time in a long time, the big ticket item is that the website is up for grabs to members of the great unwashed with any mild urges of inclination as I'm really tired of telling everyone that joke I know over and over again.  Email the Secretary at if you have ambitions of living a depressing existence punching out tired cliches and worn out jibes on demand for a gaggle of miserable proles.  So 1s, 2s, 4s and 5s all had uplifting victories while 3rd Grade managed to recover a slice of dignity against a team of 7 mostly part-time players.  KFC and Dominoes would have done a roaring trade in Penno on Saturday night as the comfort food got a well-earned touch up.

Trivia Night is this Saturday night - send $30 to the bank account if you're planning on attending.  

Account:   Lane Cove Cricket Club
BSB#:   062-192
Acc#:   10015602

1st Grade:   Lane Cove 96 & 0/28  def  Pennant Hills 74

A fantastic Round 2 victory for First Grade against the Pumas!

Defending a very modest 96 we turned up fully committed to putting in a big performance and after 37 overs of high quality bowling we had all 10 Puma wickets back in the sheds with a score of 74.

All of the bowlers were outstanding and did the job that we needed.  Beezer bowled 10 straight overs to start the day, only went for 6 runs and was desperately unlucky not to get a wicket (still can't believe I dropped that one ... sorry mate).

Mallyon fresh off the plane that morning bowled a great short spell and picked up 3 big wickets for us including depegging the Penno captain first ball of his spell with a deceptively slow straight loosener.

First grade debutant Farmer came on half way through the innings and was on the spot from ball one and produced a jaffa third ball of his spell, deceiving a leftie with a cracking wrong-on that would have got a lot of better batsman out.  Farmer finished with 2 for 24.  The skipper picked up the other 4 wickets to finish with the inspirational figures of 4 for 19 from 13 overs with 0 wides and 0 no-balls!

Wes was very tidy behind the stumps with 3 catches and Richie standing next to him at 1st slip also managed to hang onto 3 good catches!

All in all a great effort from the boys and we have started the season just as we wanted with 2 from 2.


Players' Player
3 - Richo
2 - Sneaky
1 - Forster

2nd Grade:   Lane Cove 190  def  Pennant Hills

Second Grade Report Versus Pennant Hills – Coves win Game and Fierce Sledging Battle
2’s turned up at Pennant Hills needing to win after a substandard effort last week.  The team was boosted mid week by the late exclusions of Lloyd and Mantarro, replaced by Damo and the Crazy Crazy Camarsh.
After a sub-par warm up, skipper Damo strode out to the middle, won the toss and elected to bat on a typically low, slow, flat, dusty Pennant Hills deck.  A rock solid start for the good guys, with the score racing to 54 for no loss with Doherty flaying the attack to all parts before Naughto played all around a straight one to be dismissed for 38.  T Mac and Davo then replicated the scenario twice in 3 balls and after Dohers steered one to slip we had lost 4 for 3 and were in some trouble.  Fish’s noodling and the Crazy Man’s doinking steadied the ship some what before the Fish was terribly unlucky and Crazy played the worst shot of the day (at that time) and at 7/134 we were not looking in ideal shape.
The unlikely combination of Peter the Big Dutch Keeper and Alex the tall skinny Australian soon steadied the ship a tick and took the score to 177 before the Big Dutchman was pegged.  Scarcella then received a shooter, which brought big Kenjamin to the crease.  After patiently patting back two waist high full tosses that should have been dispatched for 6, he then attempted to dispatch the third one, but hit it straight up in the air in a terrible, terrible cricketing episode.  All out 190. 
The team took solace in the fact that Penno had reinstated the excellent Chicken Burger option and the lunch was quality.  With the pitch flattening out (if indeed it could have got any flatter) the boys knew they were in for a long hard slog and a big performance was required. 
What followed were terrific spells from young quicks Scarcella and Big Cox and an industrious spells form spinners CJC (4) and Davo (4).  This author is particularly hesitant to give the Crazy Man a wrap, however he bowled superbly for around 20 overs on a deck offering very little assistance to pick up 4 poles.
I will however fill you in on a typically immodest comment from the Crazy Man while in the huddle
So there you have it – a win without Naughton burgling cagey captain's poles, special credit must go to Davo for keeping a vice-like grip on the ball and preventing a dirty noodling 3 fa from Damo.
Back in the hunt with a must win game versus the Students Warriors this week.

Players' Player
3 – CJC
2 – Davo
1 – New Covie Cult hero Peter the big Dutch Keeper...

3rd Grade:   Lane Cove 102 & 4/109  def  Pennant Hills 122 & 88  outright

Resuming overnight at 2/16, we managed to lose quite convincingly despite having by far the better of the conditions.  Boyle out pulling, Clarke out not running, French out but not outed, Tran out bunting, Sundstrom out slogging, French out legging and finally Robbo out trying to retrieve a dire situation to leave us 20 runs short of what should have been a relatively easy chase on a very flat pitch against a modest attack.  Michael Fahey was the pick of the batsman having faced 0 deliveries.

A chance at redemption came in the form of a 7 man Pennant Hills batting lineup.  French and Tran opened up but despite some good areas couldn't make an early breakthrough.  Bowling Robbo came into the attack with immediate success as an inside edge was snaffled by the nimble Fat Captain at short midwicket.  Robbo followed this up with one of the more amusing dismissals of the day as the Penno batsman turned away from a delivery that cannoned into the base of off peg at a great rate of knots to have the Pumas effectively "7" for 25.  Boggle (1/13 from 6.2) was rewarded for some straight bowling with an LB, but it was Conor Fahey who made the important breakthroughs - first dismissing Penno's best bat with a ball that slid across, caught the edge and was well snared by Dan French.  Next he enticed the Penno keeper down the track to take a wild swing at a ball that dipped, spun and crashed into the top of middle.  Conor finished with 2/21 from 4.4, his figures slightly damaged by a few pot shots over the short boundary but with a critical two wickets to get us back in the hunt for outright points.  We leaked a few runs and missed a few chances, but when the final wicket finally fell, we needed 109 runs off a relatively comfortable 20 overs.

The Fat Skip and the Former Prez wandered out into the middle and set about chiselling away at the required target.  A few short balls disappeared over the "far" boundary, but the two openers departed within minutes of each other to temper a rapid chase at 2/44 in the 5th over.  Both Frenchy Snr and Robbo managed to clear the boundary before exiting the arena, bringing Scriv and Slats to the crease at 4/71 with around 12 overs still to play.  The Penno bowling tightened up noticeably but still kept the field deep, allowing Woo Slats (10* from 16) to turn the strike over regularly and give Scriv (34* from 31) the chance to pump a few balls into the fence.  We passed the target without further loss of wicket in the 17th over to recover some dignity and a few competition points from what was an otherwise embarrassing day.

In the grand scheme of things that looks to have been 4 points dropped and we only salvaged points from the match due to Penno's inability to field a full team.  We'll want to play a lot better than that against Mac Uni or we'll be in a wee bit of bother.

Players' Player
3 - Tran
2 - Sundstrom
1 - Conor

4th Grade:   Lane Cove 4/253(dec)  def  Pennant Hills 178

Day 1

After gaining maximum points the previous week and making six changes it would be interesting to see if we could back up again and get the job done.
We won the toss and despite Scotty seeing more in the wicket than myself we batted. Schaafs and Jarrod Rixon got us off to great start with a 64 run opening stand with Jarrod doing most of the scoring. Schaafs went for 11 and looked very solid. Rafe and Jarrod were at the crease when one of Nev’s 5th Grade storms washed us out for the day with a good start of 1 for 71.

Day 2

The day was reduced to 104 overs due to Little Athletics then further as they took an extra half hour to pack up. So consolidate then push for quick runs was the plan. Jarrod got his first Covie half century finally being dismissed for a well made 69. Rafe and I wasted the chance to make plenty on a great batting wicket. This brought Paul Ritchie and Shane Willoughby together at 4 for 108 still needing at least another 100 to give ourselves a chance. They put on 145 in about 20 overs with Paul taking 45 balls for his first 50 and 18 balls for his next 50 to score a fantastic 100 not out. Shane played a great support role and never looked troubled to finish on 38 not out. We declared 4 for 254.

Our chance to bowl on what can only be described as a road, this could be a little harder than we first thought. Mike Dwyer welcome to the club and a wicket early doors, then Lousi a dubious LBW to have Penno 2 for 39. The next pair took the score to 93 at just over 4 an over to put them in a good position. The ball looked like one of my worst training balls by then. Enter Paul Ritchie who straight away put doubt in the minds of the batsman with his darts and well flighted mix. Wickets fell at a constant rate with Paul 4,Scotty 1, Jarod 1, Mick Dwer 1 and a run out to have Penno dismissed for 178 with only 7 overs to spare. To our credit we hung in there with good enthusiasm in the field and pretty good bowling under difficult conditions. Just to prove he is human Paul did drop an outfield sky ball and Louis right at the end grassed one that luckily wasn’t costly. Overall an excellent win with Paul Ritchie an outstanding man of the match performance. 

Players' Player
3 - Paul Ritchie 100* and 4 wickets
2 - Jarod Rixon 69 and a wicket
1 - Shane Willoughby 38*, 2 stumpings ...

5th Grade:   Lane Cove 9/196(cc)  def  Lindfield Blue 8/181(cc)

Lance Cove’s finest take on Lindfield Gold in a thrilling encounter
Not the quinella, not the daily double and certainly not a multi – it was a Muppy Cuppy Trifecta On Sunday as 3 of the most revered Cupster Combatants re-united in true Musketeer fashion (or is that Muppeteer?? Mwhaarrr). That’s right Muppy Lurvers, Captain d’Artagnan put together Pushkar, Gublet and the Porksword for another swashbuckling episode of Muppy cuppy goodness.
All for one and one for all!!!
It all started when Musketeer Porksword decided he would take the covers off Tantallooooooooon at 8:24am to let the sun get to the pitch and avoid any sweating. “Mwhaarrr, you don’t want the pitch to play like it did yesterday Nev, mmwwwhhaaaarrrrr.” Yes John......... Sadly, whilst pulling the covers off he pulled his groin – sounds like a lot of pulling indeed Musketeer Porksword. But this wouldn’t deter Captain d’Artagnan – who informed Musketeer Porksword he would be either opening the bowling and batting 3, regardless of the Toss. As unexpected as it was, d’Artagnan won the toss, chose to bat and sent Sockit Twomey and Musketeer Pushkar to the dogs.
Jim batted well and got this off to a good start, Musketeer Pushkar didn’t and was back in the sheds early doors. Jim fell soon after for 30 odd as did
d’Artagnan and then Musketeer Pushkar triggered Andrew Barnes – apparently being hit on the thigh-pad whilst attempting to turn it down the leg-side is plumb LBW..............fair dinkum Push Push – a Golden Retreiver would have done a better job.  This left Bambi Sharples and Musketeer Porksword at the crease to do as they please. And they did. Because, you see, Dodds took no wickets and only scored 34*, Porky had a lot to play for – and bragging rights. A solid, solid innings from the Great One kept the strike ticking over and handing Bambi the strike who entertained  d’Artagnan with 71 from 44 balls – which in fairness, the last 6 had him bamboozled between dispatching the off spinner for 4 or 6, so he was de-pegged instead of scoring another maximum. Porky then put his head down to almost see the innings out and score 36 more than Dodds – making a VERY well made 70. Also noteworthy was his run-out of Musketeer Gublet. Sterling effort – high fives all round. True.
In the end, the Muppeteers ended up on 196 from our 40 overs on a slow outfield Tantallon. A score good enough ........ surely. 
Bambi opened up with new recruit Jackson Sargeant but the Lindfield openers got off to a flyer. Bambi kept it tight bowling his door knobs and ended up with 2 poles. Jacko bowled with GOOD heat and moving it all over the place – ended up with 2 poles but could have easily been more as the Lindfield top order were good enough to put bat to ball and use Sarge’s pace whilst keeping the score ticking over healthily. A great pickup for Lance Cove and clearly a better bowler than 4th grade Bryan.............. Sudsy then took up the attack with the Musketeer Porksword and kept things ticking over nicely for the Coves. Sudsy picked up a few and Musketeer Porksword did what Dodds couldn’t do on the weekend - took a wicket, in front of a joyful Dodds watching from the sidelines who was enjoying his second jug of beer. Juuuuuuuuuuuugs. But Porky had a wicket, and that is all that matters. He did drop one of his own bowling, but that’s not the point. Fat Secretary also witnessed the wicket so it cannot be denied. Porky did drop another catch in the outfield, but according to the Great One – “I was chatting to Tim Ryan on the fence and it didn’t matter if I dropped one, as long as I stopped a boundary. I had done the mathematics and they needed 33 runs from 7 balls. So if they didn’t score a 4 or a 6, they couldn’t win. So the catch didn’t really matter. Mwhaaarrrr.” Yes John.
Jimmy Barnes then took up the attack with the Musketeer Pushkar who bowled through to the death. Barnesy bowled good offies and claimed a scalp or two. Pushkar didn’t. Bowled rubbish half trackers, got carted and bowled the 40th over of the innings seem-up. Lindfield got within 15 runs of winning.
So the Coves got the biscuits, but Lindfield at one stage needed 80 odd from 9 overs and nearly got there. Good batting by Sockit, Porky and Bambi and good areas from Sarge and Sudsy.
Almost convincing.
Tim Tams:
3 – Bambi:            71, 2 poles and a stumping.
2 – Porksword:    70 and a pole
1 – Sudsy:            Bowled well
0 – Dodds:           Witnessed the Porky wicket

Hiyeee!  Stay tuned for more messages when I can be bothered putting them here.

Fantasy League - if you haven't paid, gimme some money.  Despite half his team not playing, Dan French leads the comp with Cotty close behind.  Battler has acquired a solid team in 3rd and I'll expect him to shoot ahead once Richie Gal kicks into gear and starts notching up centuries for fun once again.

Training - everybody loves training.

Congratulations to Paul Ritchie on his first Covie Century, probably one of the fastest in recent history.  Not as fast as this one but entertaining nonetheless.  Milestones - the Fat Secretary passed 3,000 runs for the club (averaging 60 runs per season during his 50 years at the club), while Paul Ritchie cruised past 500 runs in style.  Champagne Moments - Porky and Sharples smashed the Tim Creer Cup 5th Wicket Record Partnership as well, nicely done gents.

We're also currently running 2nd in the Club Champs, which is as high up as I can remember us being in a long while.  Its only two rounds in and we probably won't maintain it, but booyah for us anyway.  Roll on Club Mac.